Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Into the Wild a.k.a Kindergarten

Ian has been in kindergarten for a little over 2 weeks now. I thought for sure on his first day I would be an emotional basketcase. Surprisingly, I wasn’t. Sure, I was emotional but the feeling was one of overwhelming happiness more than anything else. The reason for that was Ian. He was and is still just so EXCITED about kindergarten. It’s pretty hard to feel sad when you have a kid that is beaming with pride that he is off to BIG KID SCHOOL!!! And yes, all caps is necessary.

I do have the feelings of worry. Will he make friends easily? Will the other kids be nice to him? Do I have to worry about bullying? Will he get the solid start he needs to build a foundation for the rest of his education? I truly believe a love of learning has to be fostered early. Very early.

Sending your kids off to school is a lot like sending them into the wild. You can’t plan for all the variables. There are so many things that I have to let go of and trust that I have taught Ian well so far in life. I used to walk him into his preschool classroom every day and get feedback from his teacher every. single. day. Now I drop him in a carpool line. That’s it. Any communication from and to the teacher is in the form of notes or emails (which I haven’t felt the need for yet). I think the teachers probably have to break in the parents just as much as the kids. It really is a struggle to step back and let them do their job, but I am. I have faith in Ian’s teacher and so many people have told me that she is an amazing teacher.

I hope Ian keeps his love of learning because I love it too.

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4 months old

 

It seems like Cole has always been a part of our family now. We have all adjusted and I am starting find my rhythm as a working mom. There are still plenty of hard days. Especially the ones where I come home and Cole has already gone to sleep and doesn’t really wake up except to eat. I barely get to interact with him on those days. It makes me sad.

The days I don’t want to keep pumping at work are the ones I come home to find him asleep and our bonding time is the nursing sessions I get in the evening or late at night. Then, I don’t want to give it up. I want to hold onto those precious moments when it is just the two of us for as long as I can.

Cole’s personality is starting to blossom. He loves to talk to you. Loudly.

He can probably see that having Ian as an older brother means he must find his voice quickly or be drowned out by all of Ian’s talking.

Cole is thinking about rolling over, but hasn’t quite figured out how to do it yet. He definitely seems like he wants to master back to tummy first so he can sleep on his tummy. Right now he is a side sleeper, but desperately wants to become a stomach sleeper. Ian was a stomach sleeper and was a much happier baby when he could get there on his own.

The thumb is starting to be favored over his paci. I am not a fan of this development. I can take the paci away. The thumb. I can’t.

The center tooth on his bottom left is just below the surface. I am shocked by this since Ian didn’t get his first tooth until he was 7 or 8 months old. I wonder how long it will take to bust through.

Since starting daycare, Cole has become the favorite in the baby room. He is such a relaxed baby that loves to sit and watch. All the teachers are amazed at how he just hangs out and rarely cries unless he needs something.

We have had some bumps in the sleep department. For a while it was going great. He went to sleep around 8 or 9 and woke up once at 4am to eat and then went back to sleep until 7. After I went back to work, that stopped and we are back to several night wakings. Probably his way of getting in some Mommy time. Mama is tired though. My brain is turning to mush. Still I think Cole sleeps a million times better than Ian ever did. So, I am counting my lucky stars.

4 month stats:
Weight – 12 lbs 12ozs
Height – 24 inches (grown 5.5 inches since birth!!)
Growing out of most of the 3 month size clothing and starting to move into 6 month sizes.

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The First Month

Life with a newborn. How quickly I have forgotten what that is like.

Non-stop breastfeeding. Changing diapers. Lots of diapers.

Not sleeping.

It’s hard and wonderful at the same time. Cole is a good baby. I think he is more laid back than Ian was as a baby, but Ian had reflux so it is hard to compare. Ian didn’t start meds until he was 2 months old, so he might have been more laid back if he hadn’t been in pain.

Cole has grown a lot over the past few weeks. He came home at 5 pounds 8 ounces and at his 2 week appointment he weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces. At his one month appointment he weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces! He has also grown from 18.5 inches to 20.75 inches.

He is starting to stay awake for longer periods of time and his eyes have gotten brighter over the past two weeks. He laughs in his sleep and it is the cutest thing ever. I can’t wait for his social smile to make an appearance. He does a lot of smiling in his sleep.

Ian adores his little brother and can sometimes be a little too attentive. He wants to kiss and hug on Cole all the time. One day Ian came home from school and asked if Cole could crawl and talk yet. I think Ian is dying for his brother to become his playmate.

I feel like my time at home with Cole is flying past me in a blur and I just want it to slow down. It seems like my return to work is speeding towards us and I can’t wrap my head around that. I am thankful that I have several more weeks before we have to adjust to another life transition. That is going to be a hard one…

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From baby to boyhood

Ian - 10 days old

When I am putting away things Ian has outgrown or no longer uses I find that certain objects tug at the heartstrings more than others.  Putting away clothes has been a task that makes me think about how big he has gotten, but that never hit me the way one particular object did this past weekend.  I was cleaning up his room to prepare for guests to arrive since they would be sleeping in there.  I cleaned up his bookshelf and arranged his stuffed animals.  I was wiping off his dresser and picked up the foam changing pad that has been there since before he was born.  It was then that I realized he didn’t need that anymore.

He is potty trained.

We don’t gently lay him on that changing pad anymore to tickle his toes or do some crazy dance to make him laugh.  We don’t lay him there to give him zerberts on his tummy and listen to him go wild with laughter.  Gone are the moments when he would pee on me the second I took off his diaper.

He is no longer a baby.  He is most definitely a little boy now.

Until now, the foam changing pad is the one object I haven’t been able to pack away.  It is a symbol of his babyhood to me.  I wasn’t prepared to close the chapter on his baby years.

There are other markers of his journey from baby to boyhood:

  • I used to be Mama.  Now I am Mommy.  I know all too quickly I will become Mom.
  • I used to do everything for him.  Then I would help him do it.  Now he wants to do everything all by himself.
  • Curious George was his favorite character.  Now it is all about Star Wars or Superheroes.
  • Giving me a kiss in front of his friends at preschool has already become an embarrassing moment for him.

I just want to press pause on the world and hold onto the little boy who is in such a hurry to become a young man. I am proud that he is such an independent kid, but sometimes a Mama just needs to feel needed.

Ian - 3.5 years old

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Housewife Wanted

Just when I was starting to get a routine figured out my husband’s schedule changed.  We knew this was going to happen, but I really wasn’t prepared for it when he told me last week his shift change would start the next week (Monday was the first day).  He was also out-of-town this past weekend and I was flying solo with the kid.  Sunday felt like the never-ending day of cleaning, shopping, cooking, entertaining and then preparing for work and school the next day.  I don’t think I sat down for more than 20 minutes all day Sunday.

The new routine is a bright and early start to the day at the OH MY GOD IT’S EARLY HOUR (6 AM) with a run if it is a run day.  It’s off to work after that since Jack is in charge of drop off on this schedule.  After work it’s a race to the daycare to get Ian and then home to make dinner, try to get Ian to eat, cleaning up after dinner, random housework, bath for Ian, bedtime routine and sometimes exercise if it is a crosstrain day.  Makes me tired just typing all that!  So yeah, I am TIRED.

I need a housewife or a househusband.  Either one works.

This two working parents thing is hard.  Have I said that enough yet?  I have heard from friends about how hard it is and I knew we were in for change.  I just didn’t know that it was going to be THIS HARD.  I knew Jack had a tough job being at home all day with Ian and I appreciated what he did.  I admit though that I took some of those things he did for granted.  Like cooking dinner.  Cooking dinner after working all day and commuting home is so not what I want to be doing.

Take last night as Exhibit A.  I pick Ian up from daycare.  I didn’t plan any dinners when I went grocery shopping this past weekend and decided to pick them up as I decided what to make during the week.  Yesterday I decided to make spaghetti.  My brain says this is a simple, quick meal.  Hahahahaha.  Someone should have slapped me for thinking that.  Yes, in the grand scheme of cooking this is simple.  Very little prep.  However, the multi-tasker in me just had to do other things while trying to cook the ground turkey, warm the sauce and boil the water for the pasta.  This resulted in me not paying attention to the sauce boiling a bit and shooting sauce rockets all over the kitchen.  A meal that I thought would take 30 minutes took me an hour to make.  The part that took forever was for the water for the pasta to boil.  You know the saying…a watched pot never boils.  Words were never truer tonight as my son kept yelling from the kitchen table, “Mama, I want my pasghetti!”  He is not usually one to go sit at the table and wait for his dinner either.  We usually have to call him to the table at least 5 times.  Having him sitting at the table asking for his food in the same fashion of ARE WE THERE YET?! as if this was a 10 hour car ride was pressure I just wasn’t equipped to handle in that moment with burning streams of marinara flying at me.

I appreciate all those meals that my husband prepared for me before I got home from work about a million times more now.  Especially the ones that required A LOT of prep.  I also appreciate left overs because tonight I can reheat spaghetti in the microwave.

Photo courtesy of ib84

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When Life Gets In The Way

My training last week was up and then down.  I had one great day of running and then a bad day of running.  I must admit that the bad day was completely my fault.  I ate food that is not supposed to go with running: fried cheese, french fries and beer.  I only had one beer, so it wasn’t like I was drunk running which might be kinda funny but mostly dangerous.  The run after that bad meal choice was probably the worst I have ever felt while running.  I wanted to hurl with each step.

I was supposed to do a long run of 9 miles this past weekend.  I wanted to go, but really just couldn’t .  My husband went out of town and that meant I would have had to push the kid in the jog stroller for 9 miles.  It was also in the mid 90’s with crazy humidity all weekend.  I think I probably would have died if I had even attempted to do that.  I also had no idea how I was going to keep my son from going bananas being stuck in the stroller in the heat for about 2 hours straight.  Add in all the things I really needed to do around the house over the weekend to get ready for the coming week PLUS father’s day to celebrate with my own Dad and life just got in the way.

Now I have to figure out how to make this work for my training schedule.  I guess I will have to do my long run this weekend and skip my step back week.

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This is my brain on not enough sleep…

I am not a morning person.  I can get up early and get moving, but I am not a pop up out of bed cheerful, ready to greet the day with song kinda person.  I need time to get my brain going before I interact with people.  If I don’t get that time I usually communicate in grunts and dirty looks.  My son is not a morning person either.  He needs time to wake up before you put his clothes on and start getting him ready for the day.  Combine me and him in the morning and it takes a VERY LONG TIME for both of us to get ready for work/school.  I have determined that we need at least an hour and a half of getting ready time before we have to head out the door.  That means I have to get up at 6 AM!  Oh. My. God.

I forgot to preface all of that with – Jack started his new job on Monday.  He has to be at work at 6:45 AM and gets out of bed at 5 freakin’ 30!  Since he has to be at work at a time that I think should be outlawed, I have to get Ian ready for school and drop him off.  I also have to be available to pick him up from school just in case Jack’s schedule changes (which could happen while he is training).  That all means that I have to be at work early enough to work a full day to be able to leave early enough to get Ian from daycare.  Got all that?  Basically a normal 8-5 work schedule that I have never worked the entire time I have been at my company (8 years).  I usually rolled in here around 9 to 9:30 sometimes even 10 if I ran in the morning and took a long shower.

Back to getting up at 6.  I don’t think I have ever had to wake up that early repeatedly in my entire life.  I can do the occasional crazy early wake up time, but doing this all the time might kill me.  I will have to find a way to get to bed earlier than the 11:30 to midnight range that I have gotten so used to.  I am sure the sleep deprivation will help with that since it is already starting to catch up with me.  I had forgotten that lack of sleep makes me have really crazy dreams.  Last night I had a dream about my house being infested with mosquitoes, spiders and bees.  The dream also seemed to last forever and made me wake up feeling like I had stuff crawling all over me.  Ick.  Lack of sleep also makes me go off on tangents about weird bug dreams.

I finally got out for a run today after almost a week of no running.  My last run was on Thursday of last week before we took a little mini beach vacation last weekend (it was awesome and I will write a separate post about that later).  My run today was the kind that sucked.  My legs felt like lead and they hurt.  The you haven’t run in a week kind of hurt, not you’re injured kind of hurt.  Sometimes that kind of break from running makes my legs feel rested and refreshed, but not this go around.  It was just awful and it took 2 miles to get that pain worked out.  I was finally feeling okay once I started mile 3.  I was also trying to stay in Zone 4 and I think it was making the whole legs feel like lead thing worse.  I find the slower I go the harder it is on my legs.  Hopefully I can get my groove back and my motivation for running.  I struggled to get out of my office chair today.  It’s probably all the change going on at home and the just getting back from vacation.  My routine has been interrupted and I am not one to deal with change well.

This, friends, has been my brain on not enough sleep.  It ain’t pretty.

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