Yes, I had a baby and I knew that there would be work to do. I just didn’t think finding the motivation to start AGAIN would be this hard. Finding the time to run while working full time and raising two kids is not easy. I have excuses out the wazoo for not doing it at this time or that one.

I started running again when I got the green light after my 6 week check up. Then, my maternity leave ended and it all went to hell. I picked up the Ripped in 30 DVD to do SOMETHING to keep some sort of fitness. Christmas came along and destroyed that routine.

The excuses have to stop and I have to get started. So here I am. Committing again to getting healthy, not that I am particularly unhealthy at this point in time. But, I need to shed the baby weight. I am 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Cole. I was weighing around 160 when I got pregnant and now I am sitting at 175. I am not one of those people that loses weight while breastfeeding. That shiz isn’t going anywhere. I have to exercise it off. Every ounce.

I have printed out Jeff Galloway’s Half Marathon Training plan. I haven’t picked a goal race yet, but I will. I want to run at least 2 this year. I know one I want to run is the OBX Half and I am hoping I can get my husband to run that one with me.

Here we go. Again.

Keep me accountable internet.

It seems like Cole has always been a part of our family now. We have all adjusted and I am starting find my rhythm as a working mom. There are still plenty of hard days. Especially the ones where I come home and Cole has already gone to sleep and doesn’t really wake up except to eat. I barely get to interact with him on those days. It makes me sad.

The days I don’t want to keep pumping at work are the ones I come home to find him asleep and our bonding time is the nursing sessions I get in the evening or late at night. Then, I don’t want to give it up. I want to hold onto those precious moments when it is just the two of us for as long as I can.

Cole’s personality is starting to blossom. He loves to talk to you. Loudly.

He can probably see that having Ian as an older brother means he must find his voice quickly or be drowned out by all of Ian’s talking.

Cole is thinking about rolling over, but hasn’t quite figured out how to do it yet. He definitely seems like he wants to master back to tummy first so he can sleep on his tummy. Right now he is a side sleeper, but desperately wants to become a stomach sleeper. Ian was a stomach sleeper and was a much happier baby when he could get there on his own.

The thumb is starting to be favored over his paci. I am not a fan of this development. I can take the paci away. The thumb. I can’t.

The center tooth on his bottom left is just below the surface. I am shocked by this since Ian didn’t get his first tooth until he was 7 or 8 months old. I wonder how long it will take to bust through.

Since starting daycare, Cole has become the favorite in the baby room. He is such a relaxed baby that loves to sit and watch. All the teachers are amazed at how he just hangs out and rarely cries unless he needs something.

We have had some bumps in the sleep department. For a while it was going great. He went to sleep around 8 or 9 and woke up once at 4am to eat and then went back to sleep until 7. After I went back to work, that stopped and we are back to several night wakings. Probably his way of getting in some Mommy time. Mama is tired though. My brain is turning to mush. Still I think Cole sleeps a million times better than Ian ever did. So, I am counting my lucky stars.

4 month stats:
Weight – 12 lbs 12ozs
Height – 24 inches (grown 5.5 inches since birth!!)
Growing out of most of the 3 month size clothing and starting to move into 6 month sizes.

One of the issues I had to overcome was my desire to take all my lenses with me wherever we went. I don’t know why I felt the need to do that and honestly I should just put my prime lens on and head out the door. I need to get better at shooting at a fixed focal length.

The other day we went to the park with the kids and I had the presence of mind to stuff my camera in the diaper bag. I took one of my favorite pictures to date simply because I took my camera along.

I tried to get some good shots of Ian, but that kid just wouldn’t stand still long enough for that to happen.

When I was pregnant with Ian I read everything I could on the subject of pregnancy, labor and breastfeeding. I had visions of an unmedicated birth, the perfect breastfeeding relationship that would last until he was at least 1 and since I read everything under the sun about it, there would be no problems. The joys of being a first time mom before reality slaps you across the face.

His birth wasn’t unmedicated, but honestly I was okay with that in the end. We didn’t make it to a year with breastfeeding, but came pretty close by going 8 months before my body gave up. I was happy I got as far as I did. I tried everything I could near the end to increase my supply. When you are a pumping mom though it can be very difficult.

With Cole I just wanted him to be born healthy. I didn’t have a vision of how that would happen. I knew better. The pregnancy was a clue that this one was not in my hands.

Breastfeeding this time around is also different. I honestly just want to make it to 6 months. I know from previous experience how much I hate pumping. I feel like I would be cheating Cole out of something Ian got if I just gave up so easily though. I can thank Mommy Guilt for that.

Then, I remember to be thankful that I can provide him with breast milk.

Thankful because Cole didn’t get Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease when Ian had it because I was breastfeeding.

Thankful that when Cole got Croup it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been because he is breastfeeding.

I also try very hard to be grateful that my body will respond to the pump when I know other women are not as fortunate. I have to be grateful that I can pump and we don’t have to buy formula which is so expensive.

I am trying very hard to remember these things twice a day, five days a week. Pumping sucks, but I am damn lucky I can do it.

Soon we will be looking at Kindergarten. Just thinking about it puts a lump in my throat. Five seems old to me and yet it is still so young.

It seems just yesterday he was a little thing that could sleep on my chest. Now he is riding big rides at the fair that nearly give me a heart attack and he wants to do things without our help or supervision. He readily runs off with barely a backward glance to do things on his own. I am proud that he feels confident to tackle the world on his own. A mother always wants to feel a little bit needed though.

One week old

1 year old

2 years old

3 years old

4 years old

5 years old

We have our battles. He still has to test his boundaries constantly. We have to practice being consistent. But, he is a sweet, smart and very loving boy. I hear many unprompted I love you’s and they make my heart swell.

Watching him interact with his little brother has been amazing. I can see the love he has for his sibling and Cole loves to watch his big brother. I have hope that they will be the best of friends.

Some of Ian’s favorite things: Watching movies (Toy Story 3 and The Lion King are on a never ending loop it seems), riding his scooter or tricycle, playing board games with mommy and daddy, snuggling on the couch, the color blue, fruit of any kind and his Papa and Vivi.

Height – 41 inches
Weight – 36 pounds

Friday

Friday morning Ian had an appointment with his physical therapist. Ian has walked on his toes almost since he started walking. We have watched it over the years with his Pediatrician and at his 4 year well check we were referred to a Pediatric PT. It took me a while to get around to making the appointments since my pregnancy with Cole was so complicated. Anyway, at the appointment we got Ian’s leg braces to stop him from toe walking. He will have to wear them for about 6 months. He calls them his Spiderman boots.

After we picked up his braces we had to hit Stride Rite to buy some new shoes for him to wear with his braces. What I didn’t know until we got them is that he has to wear shoes with them at all times. And he is supposed to wear them whenever he is awake. He doesn’t wear them full time right away, we work up to that. However, I see many battles happening since as soon as he gets home from school he strips his shoes and socks off.

When we got to Stride Rite they were a little busy, so we had to wait for someone to help us. We didn’t wait long though and I only had to tell Ian to put shoes back that he picked up twice. There were some Star Wars theme ones on display that he gravitated towards immediately. We found a pair of shoes that worked on his braces on the first try. The shoes are 2 sizes bigger than his regular shoes though to accommodate the braces and look humongous on his feet.

Once we finished up with shoe shopping we hit a McDonald’s drive thru on the way home for lunch. When we got home I was pretty much done with outings with two kids alone for the day.

Saturday

I woke up to a nice surprise Saturday morning. My first birthday gift, a day early.

This was a gift from my Dad and Stepmom. The stones are the birthstones of my two boys. Ian’s is Citrine and Cole’s is Peridot.

The rest of Saturday was spent cleaning the house and playing in the yard since it was such a beautiful day. Here is where I failed to remember to pick up the camera. I should have pictures of Ian playing on his playset, helping me brush the dog and playing on his rocking horse. But I don’t. So let’s pretend there are pictures here of those things. Cole happily watched the action from his bouncy seat in the shade of the patio umbrella. The rest of the day was just as low key.

Sunday

My 35th birthday and the day that Jack came home from Ohio. Hallelujah, help with the kids.

Jack’s flight arrived at 9:45 in the morning, so right after we got out of bed we started getting dressed and ready to pick him up from the airport. Once we retrieved him and got home we spent the morning relaxing and I let Jack nap a bit since he had to get up at 4 in the morning to catch his flight home.

In the afternoon I took the opportunity to get out without two kids in tow and went to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get some new socks for Ian. He needed tube socks that would go underneath his leg braces. I also stopped by Cold Stone to pick up a birthday cake or 3 for myself.

I totally deserved 3 birthday cakes and they were delicious. One was strawberry ice cream with red velvet cake, one was chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream and the last was cookies and cream ice cream with chocolate cake. I was nice and shared with my family.

Since I hadn’t had the chance to run all week long I went for a run when I was done shopping. The run was, in a word, sucktastic. It was hot and I felt sluggish. The thing about running though is that even if it sucks when you are doing it, you always feel good when you are done. I am still ridiculously slow. I have to keep reminding myself that I had a baby 2 months ago and had major abdominal surgery to get that baby out.

My husband was sweet and went out got me a Chipotle burrito the size of my head for my birthday dinner. Something I only get every now and then because I can’t help but eat the WHOLE thing. He also made a side stop and got me a little birthday gift. A remote for my Nikon! He saw one of my tweets about needing one and picked one up when he went out to get me dinner. We spent the rest of night flopped on the couches since we had indulged in so much food!

Final Thoughts

This documenting thing was HARD work. Next time I do it I need to take more pictures and carry my camera around with me. I think it would be easier to remember to document if my husband had been home. My brain was more focused on the kids and surviving the week alone than anything else. I am so happy that I was able to capture some of week. It will be nice to look back on this next year after Cole and Ian have grown so much more.

Thanks to Melissa at Adventuroo for the push to give this a try!

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Why is it the older you get the faster time seems to move. My pregnancy with Cole went by in a flash and now he is growing up even faster. I have loved being at home these past two months getting to know this beautiful boy.

Cole is up to 10 pounds 1 ounce and is 21.5 inches long. It amazes me that he has grown 3 inches since he was born and is so very close to doubling his birth weight already. His personality is starting to shine through and his smile…will break some hearts someday. I know I have posted this picture, but in black and white it is perfection.

He is working on finding his fingers and is pretty good at getting them in his mouth. I think he really wants his thumb, but it is still elusive.

He has outgrown a lot of his newborn size clothing and the 0-3 month outfits are fitting better and better. We have just a few packs of newborn diapers left and then he will be moving up to the size 1′s. I compare notes from Ian’s baby book to see if they are different in their growth and find that they are really very similar. Cole may have started out small, but he caught up to big brother’s growth very quickly. So many people say to me that Cole looks like Ian’s mini-me and then others say they look completely different. I think they look a lot alike.

Cole is a laid back guy. He isn’t one to cry unless he really wants something or his little squeaks of protest go on for too long. He is incredibly patient with Ian invading his personal space constantly. He loves to watch his big brother. I am working on getting a laugh out of Cole, but he hasn’t found me funny yet. He has a very serious side.

He has changed so much in such a short amount of time. I find it hard to keep up.